Hi NFI,
Sorry to hear about your wife, hope everything works out OK.
I'm assuming you want go with a off-the-shelf option here.
If you are trying to start out on a budget, I would recommend that you chose a particular style of spirit you want to make first and then perhaps go with a 30 litre boiler and the appropriate 2"Still for the given spirit (boka for neutral and pot for whiskies etc) then add the other still type (or conversion components) later. This will get you going for the smallest spend.
The main difference between the 2 and 4 inch stills is running speed and the amount of room required to run them. 2" stills are slower than 4" ones but take up less room.
If you start off with a 2"still and decide you want to up-size later, the resale value on quality gear is quite good and there will possibly be an upgrade path that may allow you to re-use some of the 2" components; for example, the 2" boka could be sold on and the pot still accessories for it could be re-used a part of a 4" system - the beauty of modular stills!
A parrot isn't an essential piece of equipment but they do help with running the still.
As far as everything you'll need to get going, consider the following:
- Boiler
- Still
- Coolant hoses and connections
- Valves for controlling coolant flow
- Temperature controller for boiler
- Fermenter to suit size of boiler - most of the ones home brew shops sell come with a tap, stick on thermometer and air lock
- Heat pad/belt for the fermenter if you live in an area that gets cold
- Mash paddle for stirring washes
- Cuts jars - these can be old stubbies, soft drink or juice bottles, pasta sauce jars etc.
- Alcometer for measuring spirit strength (get two - they are fragile and you will break one at some stage)
- Hydrometer for measuring specific gravity of washes (get two - they are fragile and you will break one at some stage)
- Spirit bottles
- Something to age flavoured spirits in - demijons are good for this.
- Measuring cylinder to suit your hydrometer and alcometer (Glass not plastic for the spirits unless you plan on throwing the liquid you're measuring away)
- food safe hoses for siphoning of washes to the boiler
The following re also useful but you can probably just nick them from the kitchen:
- An assortment of measuring jugs and spoons
- Set of scales
- Metal funnels
I'm sure others will add anything I've missed here
(Edited to fix the bullet points)